During the palisade teen, we go crazy. Either you call it a chemical amendment inside or an environment inharmonious outside. We step ahead our comfort zone, pampering weather and a lovie-dovie nerves. We glide into a different outer version where competition awaits our out of excitement mood.
Life goes from tunnel to a never ending hoop of excitement,-understanding, new relationships and what not. Life seems interesting. There is so much to compete for, you can even compete for your seat around most fascinated classmate, you can even compete for what new accessory you wear and the list goes like a fun-fiesta. School at later secondary is huge rounds of applause for kids who are used of infidelities and are punched with supportive people.
But there are kids, truly clueless about what subject to choose next, no idea about which and what people to talk or meet, have no clue about what fashion is called, afraid of fights and manipulative crowd. It doesn’t matters if you are true, the person with a larger group of people, quite famous and fair complexion is always right. Kids like me.
You can’t concentrate in your life, there will be someone really speaking for and by you, somehow dragging you in their own business and there is no end to this silliness.
Even if you think you are awesome, your pity life will speak awful statements on your grades and oh well!! Do not forget the NEIGHBOURS the one who stays next to your flat and in around you, who demands to know you better then yourself and the only one who thinks they have seen you doing every illegal stuff (they think eating fast-food by streets with a male is illegal too) and the one to proudly say “there is no one like their kid”. There are people like my family, who blindly follow what others say and a long lasting conversation that doesn’t let me do my homework and the same shadows in the school next morning.
Now I wonder, what future decides for kids like us? No body actually takes interest listening to what we speak for them we speak non-sense;
Do they think teens are really that weird? Infect teens have most logical and sensual topics to speak- (sensual – topics with sense and usual understanding.)
Everybody is in seriatim, someone wants to be the topper and that someone is like everyone here, but there is another race inside me. A race that defines no loneliness ever, the world sounded really weird and selfish. It sounded disgusting, yet only one.
Can you familiarize this? Oh yes the new friend of ours has blinked the old. Well the writer in me invoked earlier than normal, I loved creating characters, stories and make them feel real and let other people know that they really exist. Whether call it as a habit, good or bad, it was part of my life and gave a break from boring faces. During my lectures which never fascinated me like so, my mind wondered into clouds, new friends and eventually someone the person which my mind created long and I still believe he is my first love and will always remain the same. Forget the 4th Dimention concepts, I never knew about them then. This brought my interest towards knowing life, and this way I had people I wanted to live with.
My extra cheese from pizza gets skipped now; I do not get irritated because I knew I have someone in my life. I was called by mad, no worries, I do not care for them and I have not come for them. Instead I pity them; they do not understand what I did.
Then logically this urge pushed me towards metaphysics and spirit world, I started contacting other side people and my mind was so mingled well that I sometimes do not understand if it was really or I created it in my virtual world. So well, life was so clear to me, I knew what I wanted from future- i.e them, people I created.
I met so many people;
Especially my neighbours and they generally irritated me with their stinky nose. Every next day I had a fat lady standing complaining about how many male friends I added in my social network, now this was disgusting. I mean, dude, and was she serious about her life?
So well it was decided by faith or I created it, does not matter. What mattered was, I felt happy being that way. What if people do not accept it? They normally do not accept great people, so well they are not ready for my trend. Chuck it, my “THIS” habit, either case good or bad made me more confident, happy and other people happy too.
How did it made other people happy?
If it keeps me happy, I will not react to other people’s stupidity and will not harm their happiness, consider it good for the environment too.
What did I do? I did nothing uncommon, I just made few fake accounts delivering them to be my friends, liked my own stuff, commented and made my life little easier. I guess most of us have done this along our first stage of social networking, it sounds quite fun and why not, if one likes your post other does it blindly and likes assures about your practice existence. I was no different.
So exam dates were released and I felt like someone spelled on my life. The more I studied the worst the case was going, things were messing and my stress reliever was just that one count down world. The moment I entered every email-id’s and password the new page opened with new possibilities every day, a different liquid flew on my forehead, something very relaxing.
My report card became worst and I cleared my junior college with somehow passing it away, swapping with grace marks even. I have never tasted this, it was fun.
My family, specially my mother is a typical Indian lady always listening to what the television, newsletter and other ladies speaks on and considering what others says is always right, those days I had huge interest in writing for newspaper, and wanted to write my desires so that she can read and consider them right as well.
I met different people, different logics and developed understanding for myself. It made me wonder if I was doing it right, or doing it in right mandate but my prerequisite for understanding for self-grew and covered my logics. What I did may sound interesting to me, but there was something not-done involved in it- A LIE, that changed so many lives around me. Consciously or unconsciously my lies helped so many I came through, playing roles gave consultancy ramblingly. Best thing about those were that whatever role I played, I gave my all experience, research and determination. As if there was a huge stage. I am still proud of myself, m not at all guilty, I tell you why. Because my intentions were always on track, I never meant forgery, no hurts, no disguise comments, and no ways to create problems for others. Creating fake ids are illegally, but there is a law that tell you that if you want to search for yourself you need a makeup and get into the stranger, when you look at yourself from other side of them you get to know it. There are millions who operates fake ids for revenge, forgery, and trapping people and so on. Well mine was a kid-dish fun and it happened to be accidently, there was no intention of becoming a determined writer that way.
The story had completely quite 7 years I had my experience and moment that changed my life too, I miss my those lies, or the reality that became a lie for either my mistakes or people involved in it.
I am a superstitious person, come on I am serious, the way I look- you get me right, cool, awesome and so on(not kidding), and well I have other side too. I doubt a lot, that is kind of my over thinking bridges a new pool of advertising clauses, that sends me signals for fear, anxiety and so on. I believe when you are really very happy, your well-wishers actually do not wish you well and you fall around bad lucks. I know it sounds so not new to us, but we all believe in evil eyes for our happiness, and innocent gestures of life.
I met someone on Orkut, confused guy. I must tell you, never in the history ever someone met the way we did. My anxiety meter reached its level emptying my mind and corrupting its old sources and I started mugging up my script and said something that I never thought I would.
“I killed my mother” was the first word I said after he left a sigh in disguise. I liked the concept for my next work piece but I had no idea I spoke it to him. Later I thought to check myself for split personality disorder, when in the morning I saw them there was a long chat which I consciously do not remember. I noticed the fever for this has begun to spread and I have to stop it before something turns to crime.
I deleted my original profile on it and loved the one I wished I was, or the way I really was. The profound favour from making a fake is that you do not care for your image and what people will speak of you, you are completely grounded and now nobody will bother your stuff anymore, now even the neighboured hairy nose aunties, well it happened the same way. After people saw I was no more in lime light, they took their focus back from me and my life turned peaceful.
Well, my mother still gives me a paper piece and ask me to read it aloud, I wonder if she can read them, she claims to me a master degree passed out. Then why? Why why me? Why do I read them aloud? To make her confirm what the paper piece wrote is correct. It even said s** is good for health? Who is going to give me answer for this?
Elders always think they are clever. I started living my life the way I wanted, after so many restrictions, pressure supply from family for better, oh sorry the best and unique marks and yet to be very active in co-curriculum, I made a way to life. Once you do not fight for yourself and fight for what other wants from you, you will never get the correct place of your life, know that even parents are not right always.
The guy claimed to be depressed and always mugged suicidal commits, he was hopeless. I thought it was a good time to handle his cracked mind, because two cracks fill one perfect bowl.
My first mistake to involve him in my story second was to keep going with my own, third to believe him to be a right person.
What fascinated me every night was, I had something new to experience else then living what I am living, I kept on finding ways to make myself experience what I wrote, the gesture for every character in my life seemed real. Life is great, I lived so many lives, learnt and did not even felt it a waste of time.
Studies? What are you talking about?
Well, I made worst in my academics and I never cared about, all right I was born genius like you all, we all have capacity to find ways, oh off curse we all are the toppers if we do not compare ourselves to others. I never compared my life, my school bag or my dress with anybody, what will it brings on to me?
If it is really great on me, I feel proud and if not I feel down. This is not the way we should handle life, it has some sort of problems I agree but it definitely have a life.
The guy I met went viral on my life. He was a hosteller and used to come online just to meet me, climbing big gates, keeping illegal cell phone, breaking rules and what not, reason may be because he liked the way I lived.
Then came someone else, a stranger on my “that” world of life and felt the same like the previous guy felt. So what? A triangle can never be solved with a simple formulae, they messed it. You need to know trigonometry.
I had to tell them the truth because cheating was not my part of business, I heard so much from them. And guess what? My world was collapsed with the real; those two morons spread my story like virus to every other person I knew and they knew were mutual to us.
Now I wonder what they mean by True love for me then. That was my life, they gave me reason to expand my happiness, but I guess excessive happiness is dangerous for health and life too.
I feel anxiety moving out of my home, as if every new eye is staring and laughing at me but then I realized something, I went back to my world, met people and realized that I know a little more than they think they do. I know the concept of imagination and power of its, guess what? They weren’t false; they were just taking time to create. I created my world to the reality of existence and I have all those people for which they were not true. It amazed me too, but I wonder I needed them.
So the moral of the story is, when you really try to pursue a different route, your segment Is awaiting so many of yourself dragging you back, know that the world you desire already exist, and there is no wrong to be happy, only in the cost that you do not cheat, hurt or disguise other people’s life with your happiness.
From that day I feel guilty, I am not guilty of what they said I Lied, because I did not. I did not lie at all, I was just having my life on my part, and they came into it, enjoyed and learnt. They got their part; I am guilty of meeting those morons, who took away my zeal for imagination. No matter, things have gone better and it surely gets even better. And for now, I do not share my secrets to anybody, do not pity their innocent faces and concentrate in my own happiness. Because, the more I am happy the more world will be peaceful, I told you the reason right?
Do it, go for it, imagination does not have scale but remember what I said. Life is the way you always wanted, if you think like this, life will be really an easy go. Go imagination Go.