Long way before we could end

Life is not for understanding its deep. More than it appears and in uncertainty with it makes it more powerful. How can you believe in the survival norms and yet there are coincidences.

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The war has begun and we are offered to wear a particular dress during it. There is warmness in the palace, everyone is hustling, men are shouting, kids are afraid. There is a abnormal chaos in the surrounding. We women are getting ready for our turn. We are not taught to wait for the war to end instead we were given training. Our faces may get hurt, cuts, painful knife of scars or worst smashed but we are ready. This was was uninvited. It’s a family war, a sudden attack and since we know each other, we are aware of our weaknesses. My father is fighting for no reason, he doesn’t want to fight. He doesn’t want to surrender either. It’s a Period of great pleasure. I am thinking nothing, I am just looking into the mirror and believing that with the dawn my uncles would understand their mistake and end all this disturbance. It’s a duty of a khatriya to fight, even if he doesn’t want it, it’s the duty and one must follow his or her duty provided for the life being. I am finally making a move, to kill my relatives. My hands are shaking but my brother holds it, the Mahabharata repeats, it does everyday and ANYTHING that we see is a part of it.

I am being given knowledge to fight for the right, the war was not my choice but to end it is. I choose to fight till I understand why wars are needed, why it is necessary to fight for mutual understanding and it’s not wrong, not always.

I am happy that this war came, I am given an opportunity to prove my feminine being or I don’t see the real picture of the scene?

Have I asked for a troublemaker?

I am walking through the aisle and corridors, lamps and warmness still follows in cold winter evening, a lot is going in front of my eyes, my father fighting, my brother entering, my siblings and uncles, so much at once.

I smile at them, it’s a due course in time that just yesterday I remember was my birthday and everyone was looking at me in the same way, I was stepping down through the stairs and they all stopped for a moment. I felt happy, at least for a moment they have sensed the message of love I was trying to convey.

I take off my sword without believing in the instant reaction and it all begins again, what if I had not done so.

One of my eldest cousins comes near me and attacks, what should I do? Pretend to protect myself and die or attack?

My father was injured by then, physically and mentally, I am sure he must have lost his connections with spirituality, but that’s alright I know things will be alright all over again.

I attacked her before she could kill me, I feel no guilt of doing so, her mother’s face came to me while she was Dubling in flood of blood, I killed another and by the time I and my brother reached to my father half of the family was dead. I felt an urge to wake up from this nightmare but disheartened to know that it was a reality and no one was to blame for this. My father threw his swords and walked passed the stairs, I looked at my brother who was about to kill our uncle, I wish I could stop him but a Khatriya must fight.

I was being attacked and hurt, it was either I will kill and survive or I will die, I wasn’t thinking much, I was sure I will have to cry in their memories later but for then I was to think nothing and act. Slashes of bodies and crying mourns, we won but with whom should we celebrate it, how will we stand those little new norms, ego and envy drew us apart, our happiness was attacked for once.

It took me days to digest and adjust to this new change. We left the palace and came to normal life. We changed our names and stayed in forest. We met great souls and my father was a king among them.

Only few knew our real existence.

Life went on and we found that it wasn’t for the war but for that imaginary thought which created this. Cleaning is so necessary even if that seems to be incoherent and invaluable at first but once taken out of our songs the rhythm of life adjusts.

Healing with Forgiveness

Healing

 

Beauty of this word is that we all know the power of healing and feeling of not being healed completely. I am talking from both the context, physical and materialistic.

Our life more often what I hear ‘is stuck ball of mass with varying velocity’ but it’s a wrong way of approaching to the true nature of our lives which is freedom and love. Happiness is birth right to everyone but our programs stop us from all kind of healings.

We have tried switch words to reprogram our subconscious and we have worked with affirmations. Both of them work in their own spaces.

Today I am going to share with you the power of forgiveness, something which decides our life.

Karma when seen from higher perspective is an individual belief based on actions they have performed, not just in physical but also in their mind. Everything count and getting stuck to something is that invisible string which hold us back.

Steps to be followed for complete healing:

 

  1. Understand the problem
  2. Take full responsibility of the reaction and action
  3. Calm yourself because that I alright
  4. Let go of everything that is setting you back
  5. Use your technique, mine is with ho’oponopono(I AM SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU) .: I sit with myself and talk to my events bothering me. I am sorry for anything in me that is playing again and again to cause this problem. Please forgive me so that I can move on with my higher perspective. Thank you for being so generous to me. I love you always.

After cleaning the very first thing this brain wants is the result, wait for your time to come.

Karma involves:

Your feelings for yourself and with the rest of your team mate in this life time you have chosen to greet in the timeline.

You trying to decide things for others.

Thoughts of hurtful events for yourself or for someone else, intentional or unintentional

Effects of karma:

  1. Health issues, they generally manifest in the form of pain and leads to issues.
  2. Blocked surfaces of life, sometimes getting the easiest thing in life seems impossible.
  3. Emotional and physical curves, depression and sabotage is one of them.

There are theories on them, there are books on them, I told you what felt right to me for cleaning.

We are magnetic beings our life is full of belief system and religious foundations, our godhead is goodness in heart not somewhere else.

We work and walk for ourselves, our life is just a reflection to whatever we give.

If its your right time to move on, get started.

Dear Maa, Thank you

Dear maa!

I can never forget the smell of your Skin, anywhere I go I search for the same smell, no lady ever came to me with the same fragrance, you never use a artificial deodorant, the same kind of soap that we use but I never smell familiar to yours, not a bit.

Maa, when things were tough you have given me million reasons to be stronger, you made me a nice person, to the extent that I see and could feel, I am a kind version of a volcano.

My stupid demands and your tasty food, to add more let it be a rain too. The smell of the coffee in the room and those night stories. My ears always desire for your voice.

Every time you go on your trip or to nano’s home, this house of bricks shout a lot. You call me everyday, ask me about how monetary my friends are to me. I love it when they love you more than me.

All those days of IIT coaching and I know you have waited for me days after days in that hot burning sun and the final day of the result. How distressed I had become those days but you knew what to do. You gave me my world full of happiness and there is nothing that I can do for you to normalise them.

I know what I mean to you and what other of my monster siblings mean to you, we love you maa, to the core of everything. It was you who gave me courage to think and work differently, you gave me advices from your treasure of knowledge, from the general science to advance medicines, whatever I know, it’s because of you.

Even when I came back home fearing that all the mess I have created would displease you but you reacted in very different way. I am hopeful now.

After what I got when I came back home after a year long list of complaints I believe it’s the best thing that could happen to me.

I found my love back in my life, I finally completed my book and it’s in the publishing, I am joining new college for my higher studies and you never forced me with the rules.

Thank you maa! Thank you so much.

My cellphone broke and you gave me a new from your savings, I haven’t started to earn yet but I know when I will do it again I will bring you back all the comfort you have sacrificed for us. I just can’t wait to look myself in the podium of success like you have imagined. I am not sure of my future but as long as you are with me I know I have the best kind of life.

Thank you maa! Thank you so much.

Love you millions of way

Key in the holes

” Can I tell you something! Life’s pretty demanding, each time I trespass this longing I come back to you. The similar feeling run across my vein, I am just making counting memories to turn them into infinite.

Back to infinity where we belong, together.

How often do we make promises and how long do we follow them.

All such nights when light was the only visible thing, I was looking up to you and you were smiling, I am still smiling at what you think lives in me. It’s all surrounded by us and making great promises I want to stay in you. Apart from greater possibilities there are lesser chances of us to remain in same form but we will find ways to reunite. The universe will help

If there is something in the world that eats itself is that one feeling I can feel about you not being around.

I am wandering on those lanes we visited few hours ago, your blush remains in my cheek and to remain faithful I haven’t washed my face. To be yours is the most amazing feeling, to be in you is that amazing sign.

We must maintain each other like this, forever is a small thing.

It’s the very first recognition of a mother’s eyes

When you can touch the love, kiss the love and feel the love

Eventually things starts to fall into place like a volcanic plate

The forest burnt with the fire starts to heal

Every time we touch, we mess we re create

Another very fascinating observation is that even if it ends

It remains

I can be everywhere I want and he would follow me

Golden raspberry on the cake

Life is decorated with golden plates

Suddenly all those thoughts vanish and starts a new day

I can be around him, not so far not so cold

Yet when I receive him I am complete

Together is the word

Holy and slowly everything makes sense

Things that I missed and things which left me

To somewhere the prayers go

Love resides

My Strongest First Date- In Real!

How often do we search for a true love? I guess most of the times. Our heads are so filled with romantic asylums; we cannot blame movies and their writers to fill us with imagination of possibilities. We get hurt and we het healed and we search for it again. We are always hopeful for love. One such event recently happened to me. I was searching for him, my perfect kind of man. I nearly had no idea on the context that there could be someone exactly I had noted down in the list of my perfect search. He has got a masculine energy, his twinkling eyes and possessive skin. Oh god, Tell me it is not a dream.

Yesterday it happened to be our first physical date, apart from our daily Skype dinners which apparently were the best cousins I have tried with him. It wasn’t about the food or the ambience but I have felt something really good inside of me. I feel hopeful, fortunate and clearly astonishing. That’s where it begins to click in my mind about my feeling and frequency just before I have met him. Unlike other meetings this was special, butterflies did not leave me while I drove to the place, I had an amazing smile on my face, people asked me ‘what’s happening’ and the tone which resembled their voice was waving with the rhythm. I could hear sarcasm from somewhere and little delicate envy too. Nothing bothered me.

How clever of me.

I am still smiling, what an immense effect of love to my life. I wish this had happened to me before. Love changes life completely. I can’t see the world like I used to, it’s like that magical experience where you know that all the good karma you have done sometimes back happened to you again. May be that’s why we take birth in this earth.

I guess I got all my answers today , may be all of them, may be that is why I came here, to experience him again. I can’t believe someone can be so tender, so caring and amazing. He has already warned me not to mention him in any of my blog post because that would be apparently a cage to his deed. I am sure this is not for this life, we have been together since many births. As if we were destined. I am least expecting anything to happen to my life now. I had have never felt content before. This satisfaction takes away my anxiety and I am more or less on the cloud 9.

I do not remember any of the scenes from the place, my memory doesn’t allow me to remember them, maybe I am very conscious about those memories and feelings but I remember how I felt when I was driving back to home. I couldn’t notice when dragon my pet came to me, licked my legs again and pushed me back when I did not reply to him. Of all my relationship which are extreme possessive the one with dragon and kanha are the most. Apart from my family and closest friends I do not think I do have any bonding with anyone.

So far the story I felt I had left the hard core world with all the painful experiences at once and have concentrated on which awaits me. He texted me once he reached home. This is the sign of getting matured. We do not tick-tack whole day but I know he misses me so do I and I guess it’s the best thing to fall in love once you have left your teen hood.

He was in his formals; he confessed that he is bad at anything else. I couldn’t any more.

He was amazed to look at the menu; he is not habituated of eating oily food let alone the tasty and delicious street food. He talks less but I hear him more. How could this happen to me all of a sudden. How could I miss those moments not spent with him?

I was amazed at all that I have left behind of me. I am so grateful those bad things happened to me, people who never gave me intentional happiness; I am just so grateful that finally love came to my life. I was smiling whole day long, we went for a movie and he was blushing. He did not understand a bit of it and most of it when he told me that he had never been to movie stations after 2008 it’s when he stepped to board exams I knew I found someone with similar mind set.

We tipped popcorns to fellow couples and enjoyed more of our environment than the movie. Apparently the noise was enough to cover our silent talks.

Well I know him from the day when his mother gave us Diwali sweets. We never thought things would turn out so great.

I have so much to talk to him but every time he appears to me I just smile.

 

 

 

I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you

I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, for everything that had caused this situation, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you for all those days I was not loyal with my own feelings, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you for letting judgments and fear scroll my thoughts, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you for not letting things unfold according to the divine order.

Image result for hooponopono cleaning tool gifI am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you for those thoughtless nights I was worried and could not sleep, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you for the mistakes I have done knowingly and unknowingly. I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, for those all the events I could not gather courage to stand for myself. I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, for making me a role model of other’s wishes. I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, for not letting me speak when it was really necessary. I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, for underestimating my own worth. I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you, I am sorry Please Forgive me Thank You I love you,

Velvet

Hey,

 

How Drum-atic have you been lately?

Are you soothing your butt with unnecesary comments on girls? Good, You have a fine line to earth again to go through the shit you have created.

Which face do you think you have been facing? It is all your, this shit belongs to you, you must eat the poop you have created.

well.

Let there be love to surround the nagging self. Let there be more velvet to cover the luxarious skin and to go through the asthamatic diwali let there be less brains to handle those noses.

Indeed, let this prayer reaches the eye brows and asses, to the lipsticks and the roses, if you could find one such reason to handle life with another term, I wonder if there is another lifetime.

Focus, Focus, Focus.

I see a butterfly roaming in my room, since diwali, very talented Indian Brains say it is a good sign to get married.

I apreciate that, how clever.

Who should decide I should get married? A butterfly? No the universe. The universe do not know how to talk, thus he created meme’ to irritate us better. Wow Universe, you have been playing with me so lately.

No that’s not anger, that’s rage.

Alright, so passionately I have been waiting for things to happen, with the same passion the Universe or the God have been delyaing it further. Good. I love this war.

All our childhood we have been listening, God loves us, God created us.

Really?

I will tell you something which you have been denying.

God is a player, he created us for his fun, operated us for his fun, kills us for his fun, There is no life buddy, there is just god.

The immens-ly dipped God in velvet, which takes care of you, receives your anger and yet follows you everywhere, what do you think god is, a vodaphone ambassador?

How could you just think of it my mind?

Oh great pain.

I know how this brain works.

A coffee, a hot chocolate and some cool weather to go with.

Happy Diwali, so called people and their so called imaginary God.

 

It’s where your focal point is located

How often, how sure but I can tell you

It’s all I have to give you, all that I have,

Dear love, the focus that I carry to you and for you,

This divine intervention is all that seeks my attention.

Dual to the logistic of my Brian yet my heart wonders,

Where this thunder comes from and where shall I post this to,

The speed and the science will defy physics and yet I promise our promises will remain intact.

Would you value my gestures and my prominent happiness if ever I have to seek you some meaningful life.

It’s where I have found you again and again, all my focus to you my love all my focus to you!!