The day I have died

The greatest fears of my life always included the signs ‘what if someone is better than me’ which is always contrary to whatever I did. I always chose subjects which my siblings were doing right along way I have always done whatever I have liked, I have always done extra efforts to gain my place. A similar kind of complexity which I see in me now was there from a long time. I could never recognize this growing mental inability to fight for my own rights. I never knew what I needed by myself. I have no idea what I want to don in my life, I am sort of confused and frustrated.

I feel most of my life is based on judgments.

It’s just now that I realize my worth, the secret of being myself. The happiness in knowing that there are no boundaries to the mistakes I make and learn from them because whatever I am doing is my part of business, no one gets outs of it and no one could ever understand it, at the end it is me who will sum up all my karma and go back to where I came from or where I belong after this life stage.

Steps after step and all the way I have been doing tremendous work on things unknown to the world. I have not gained much recognition but I know what I have done, I know where I stand and what I deserve. Life certainly happens when we are busy doing something else.

I am thinking on the patterns of solitudes, about the words that come to my brain and escape because there are few unsolved thoughts.

I know I am weird but my story belong to me, I know what goes in my head all the time, I know what my dreams are, I know who I want to talk to.

I don’t want to explain anything to anyone; I just don’t want to be judged anymore. It’s just an end of a chapter I never liked, it’s a new beginning.



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