June to be Promised

The only way I could listen to the lost paradise was to go back to the days where we left everything, I felt that I was lost and this change was mere a significant judgment on the road where we might have met again and again. The journey is based on the betterment and I allow myself to look into this matter because it hurts not to find you most of the times, Only when I go nearer to the reality and find that it was always you who have given me strength to carry on. Honey! This is such a strange moment for me, This achievement makes me no excited, I feel as if it is just another milestone, on this earth when we were both trying hard to make this dream come true. I understand that it has been really difficult all of a sudden and infect I have talked a lot in this matter to Mayank and he thinks we could redefine our lives with new people around, how is it possible? How could someone ask me to reconsider your place, it is impossible leave alone being difficult. Another way to tell you this is that even if the thing that seeks itself into clauses of absolute availability I was taking another partial roadmap towards the journey that we have started.

I washed the teddy bear you gifted on my 8th birthday, it stays with me all the time, secret is that it even went with me on exam hall, I went to your home yesterday, I found out that its easy to breathe in there, your mom seems sick now a days and things aren’t going well in our family sweetheart, I feel that I have not acted right so far and I feel that the city has grown to very hot weather, may be because Bangalore was calmer compared to this, suddenly the vapors of life are spreading humid but still it’s our city and we have homes here, so I was just checking in, into your home, more like a garbage tin now, things spread everywhere, I have managed to clean the room where they normally spend more time instead she resisted me, I felt really bad, what have we done to our homes? I feel pity on myself for leaving them alone here, I feel that all the dreams that I have seen for us is really small if I compare to what had happened behind us, here. When I came back I felt caged again, as if these walls are pulling me towards the pain and depression, it’s very fascinating that gradually our lives have changed, so much have changed, so much, so  very much and this change is eating me from everywhere making me hungry of nothing. Where should I start with? What should I talk to them?

Just a moment ago your mother called me, she asked me for dinner over night, I am going to your home again and I am sure she will bring out your photo album, talk to me about your childhood, I cannot make them forget you, I cannot make a mother feel that his son is always around him, I cannot make a father feel that his old age is not a burden to him, to his sister who is trying to smile, sweetie why are you showing me all these things? Why did you attract me back to these things again? Why I have to see all such horrible situations, it’s not done, why are you doing this to me? I have had successfully ran away from here right, then why did you bring me again over to the same place, same situation, the same faces.

In the short run I met Viraj yesterday, what a change. Mayank apparently does not want to talk about it, as if he wanted to kill each part she had. Anyhow we have moved on and the name makes no sense to him anymore, he felt the love and I have felt the affection. We had a good night altogether, we ate ice-cream at midnight, prepared Maggie with milk and I am telling you there was no better idea to have a fight over it, I am graceful towards the moment when his brain did not go very far behind this.

Well your plants have grown, in spite your suspecting and logical research they have grown to really good heights, naughty has grown up too, adopting two more cats and a Dog soon. So much for tonight? Will update you about the dinner tomorrow if it do not leave me emotionally challenged. Love you and miss you honey!

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