Something about You

I help one paper roll, old enough to recognize, parts of which were torn at the end, the smell of wooden cupboard and few drops of naphthalene balls, burnt with summer heat. My heart pumps more than needed to the situation and I take a deep breath, high enough to be heard in the silence in my room. Everything was gone, everything and everyone. I have never felt so lonely back in my life and suddenly I pull the wooden chair in the old kitchen area, summer afternoon and a heat pulsing my veins, no electricity and no other way to feel bit cool. I lay the roll on the table. And take the red ribbon with a great love, my kinder garden letter to myself. I close my eyes before I could see that one last memory of my beautiful family altogether. I was fortunate I thought and felt grateful, I opened my eyes and a drop of tear touched the crayon wax colored paper. A family of 6, me, my two elder brother, mom, dad, and dragon, I planted a kiss to everyone one by one, partially not being partial with my love, I found my life in that paper roll. When everything was fetched into one memory I wished for the moment and felt lost, a bit lost not because I felt homeless all of a sudden or loveless, I felt the same kind of feeling many other people must have felt. It felt so close and cold, I definitely missed each of it, my playground, my room but the hopes were as high as my fate, game was to be Brave and know that our love will follow everywhere and we will be together in some plane of this dimension or anywhere, thing is my belief says we are still together and we will always feel this love inside of our hearts forever. Nobody decides their life, we all plan our weekends unaware of what awaits us, this is hope and when it doesn’t work out e way we depth it to, its life but still it is hopeful. I went to my room for the last time and touched its walls, series of memories ran in front of me, as real as imaginary it was, I felt my mother’s touch, heard my giggles, I heard the fight over telephones, I heard the window cracking into winds, I heard the wind chimes, I heard everything. I said to myself ‘ be brave and find yourself, be brave sweeties, be brave, God loves us and we still have been left with Hope, Calm down, one day this everything will be paid off, love will always follow us, sweetheart is brave.’ A drop of tear ran down across my cheek, my chubby ones and I felt my brother pulled them naughtily, I looked at mother Mary’s picture hung on the wall, I touched them light and firmly asked her ‘ I know one day you will make this a very good sense.’ I know mother, you have got heart of your own son and that I am no different from him, I know you have a great plan ahead for all of us, give us strength to be in love and be brave with strength, don’t let us break into illusions’ a different feeling ran across my body, it was as if suddenly everything was alright and I felt nothing actually happened, I felt this again and again for many new days and I went ahead.
Today I am 23 years old and more than 7 years to the incidence, this fortunate day whenever I remember that day I am amazed how I carried across, this post is for myself, for my bravery and I want to tell myself that how much proud I am to be in the state I am right now. I love you myself, you have been great, and you will continue to be great.

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