Every princess has a day
I am going to confess something today, some of my deep fears and honesty. About everything that defines me, not that I am going to prove anything out of this but I know somewhere everyone is confused with my mixed behavior. I used to be a rich brat, completely loaded with gifts and happiness, I am born the princess and I literally mean it, we have our own palace and properties, we have islands and antique cars, actually I guess we used to. One fine day something happened and everything has changed, you know the hardest part was when they asked me for my credit card, y cars, and my home. We left our house and we rented one, alternatively, I never asked the men of our family why they couldn’t save it for us. Everything happened all of a sudden and things kept going worst, everything was going great and suddenly our lifestyle was changed. It was hard for me to accept that, harder for other people as well.
But today I understand something, my husband told me that I was always a princess, I will always be a princess, by the way, I treat people, by the way, I treat other animals, by the way, I spread love, anyone can be the princess by the way they treat themselves. I couldn’t wear our traditional crown, we couldn’t reach to 18 till that. I have visited my place once and twice and the way they treat my brother I still feel there is some princess left in me. We have lived one huge life and the life I have been given now has something to tell me. I never knew how much an ice-cream cost unless I had less money to buy it. It never bothered me, I am happy, I will always be happy the way I chose life.
Things what made me lonely was not my anger, but when we lost everything our friends were the one we thought we never get along with. Their lifestyle was different, being into society we always had friends who own minimum billions to come to our offshore parties but now people we interact are the one who is lovely, they share food in the festival, and we go for morning walks.
I once met another friend from Toronto, he asked me if it feels bad to lose everything especially when it wants our fault, I am glad he asked me that, it’s when I realize that I really feel bad for myself. I have lost my boyfriend, the one I thought we were in love due to money, I don’t make friends now because my faith on them has vanished a long ago, and yes I am angry, why should I?
I miss our house, I miss all the luxuries, definitely, I have never slept in the same bed sheet every night, I miss my cars, I miss my credit card, I miss my family. It is true that money keeps people happy, my family behaves weird now, they behave like other people around us, angry, frustrated because they do things they are not habituated to, I don’t know what should I do to make it better, I don’t have plans, I certainly don’t have any idea, but I am sure we all are capable of making things better.
We can’t fight our family members and that’s what my father said, he said we will not file any case against them, he is happy that his siblings are happy with it, I don’t understand this, but this is what I call is being GREAT!
My task as a daughter and as a sister is to support everything that they do. I still meet my old friends but from a distance, they think I have become un-cool, I wear boring dresses and that they don’t want to see me. I have had heard many things they talk about me, that’s fine. I obey everything god has given us. This situation has something to tell us, this situation will deliberately make me a better person. I used to be frustrated, nagging and really hard to handle, now I know what love is, what is to be compassionate, how everything works, I think these all were for better. God gave us this situation and he only walks through us, this is amazing.
I do not want to go to them and tell them that a part of their fantasy life was offered by my brother, I don’t want to remind them that how much my family, especially my mother stood by them. I don’t want to talk to anyone and that’s why I write, the reason my first book never got published because one of my such dear friends told the publishers that I will never be able to do publicity since we dropped off from our financial things, the same friend who I helped complete his own books, the same friend.. Well! Everyone ask why I couldn’t publish it, few laugh, few thinks I was kidding around.
Luckily I have good and honest friends who love me for who I am, they don’t know from where I come, they have no idea about my sudden mood swings but they accept me, but I couldn’t accept myself many times, it’s now easy.
What hurts me most you know, the day, 21st January 2010, 6:00 pm when he came to meet me with his new girlfriend, their eyes, his eyes and my laugh? What hurts me most is my best friend making new best friends, taking selfies. What hurts is my cousins and her mother telling others how pathetic we were.
Years have passed and I have never expected anyone to understand this, and it is too late for anyone to understand it, the person who understood this: I married him.
I have learned that a princess is a princess anyway. I am a princess anyway and there is no proud to share this, it is love to share it.
he said that, only a brave princess can face her fears, write it honestly, and I wrote it, I know he will read it, and be proud on me, That is how our relationship proceed.