To my sister, I am Sorry

She was very young, 13 years young to me, she was like my own child, today I want to confess everything I felt was unfair to her. Starting from the initial days of our lives we were very close and really very close, her protection always haunted me, she was a girl anyway, cute and pampering one of the family. She always spoke truth and that made it scarier, she was one of her kind, god like creation with different kind of spark in her, she brought me back to love where I found myself again and again. Each time I felt lost her smile brought me back to her, my home was a better place now. Sooner when I realized our age differences were broader than we could handle and my teen blood gave me shocks of having fun, I am sure she felt lost, she cried each day in school when I stopped meeting her during lunch, she stopped making friends, her whole life was into me and I did not care, was I diverted to death?

I am not sure but I have really hurt a child’s heart who gave all she had to me, how lucky was I to have her all the time.

Once she gifted me a makeup kit that she saved from her own pocket money, how gracious that would have been, I was  traveling to some relatives and another sweet girl took that and never returned it, when I informed this to her she was taken back, she felt heart broken, I felt guilty, I don’t know how I will ever make things better.

Starting from the very small things to biggest faults of my life where she was being ignored, I feel sorry. We ignored her birthdays and she cried alone, how selfish this whole growing up things make us, she is the reason I hate most of the things in my life.

Sooner when I realized that I was being offensively mean I gathered my image back to her, giving her nurturing support as much as I could and I have been doing that after all my summers, I miss all those days I was being a rude sister to my kid-sister and today when I look back I couldn’t gather courage to make things into better. A lot have been taught to me via life in this period, I have grown into very compassionate woman and now I have all my motherly feelings attached to this whole universe, especially her.


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