Though into Love, the answer we seek

I have always thought, my part of the pain is illusionary, there is a lot happening around the world, all that sounds innumerable and selfish whenever I thought of a certain heartbreak or something that has changed my life in a different direction than I thought I would take it too. I kept on thinking, I cried but that never came up into all kind of abusive relationships I had handled to satisfy my need to punish.
Ignorance is the reason for everything that we go through have spent weeks, eventually months with my head going numb and I had no idea how to bring it back to normal, it took me great deal of time to come out of other’s thought for me, if you are someone who deals with prime sensitivity and understands that we are collective consciousness, if you are someone who can feel everything happening around, you know what kind of pain I am talking about.
I was told the tales of great warriors and people who generated compassionating for the world and the people, I were told as a kid that being a princess my responsibility is to take care of everyone who is dependent on my decisions. Our training are that way, we have been trained to have mature feelings since childhood.
Idea is to manipulate ourselves to generate happiness but it is a natural process.
Let me share with you something that always bothered me, needs for support.
I thought there is a need for someone to sustain this world and unless I can feel this world, my own family, I am not in need to find desperations all again.
Regardless of the facts about how men and women are using their intelligence to manipulate emotions I had always thought that there exist nice and trustworthy people, I always went to their deepest level of understanding to accept them as they are, slowly the relationship turns abusive, either with the man or the woman I am in with, it is not gendered specific, this kind of situation is rolling above our feet.
Sometimes we understand them before they come out to be disgusting, by god’s grace, though.
I wonder why is it necessary to be mean and keep our minds on playing games, why can’t there be just love.

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