The InDiffrences

                   9806a0bad99b385e5c674e0db4b064ab

Which reminds me of an incidence just a few years ago, not that I miss her but her presence was different in my life, or I thought she had an impact on my childhood. One such day when she was off to her college and I was sitting in the terrace farm of our house watching the sky, clear and bright, the evening was just touching its pace, I was drinking milk from my favorite glass water when suddenly he called. A small brisk of a smile in my face while my mouth dunked in the glass sipping milk slowly. I like blowing air through the connected pipe and see it sound like a bubbling water.
I kept my very important work of enjoying my life’s beautiful evening aside and I attended his call.
What kind of impact do memories give us, this is just a feeling I am sharing, just a small incidence from my happy life like anybody else’s? Just some imaginative memory.
I take his call and urges to say him formal hello which never irritated me though but it never fascinated me even. We never said ‘hi/hallow’ we just greeted in some random code language [secret for now].
‘Puppy!’ the urge to hear them again in me really makes me miss him even more, the reason I never grew up was somehow was him.’ Hmmm… what are you doing?’ I reacted like a small kid would have, of course, I was drinking milk and as far as getting into character it was necessary for me to act like one.
‘Drinking milk and you?’
‘Buying a cow’ sarcasm? Funny?
We talked, talked on days, at nights, every time, talked random things and never got bored out of them, we never ran out of words or talks, I never thought I would enjoy cheesy things like those, I would whisper while sleeping at night so that nobody could hear it, I never thought I would enjoy keeping secret of having a boyfriend, I never thought I would have my best friend getting loved to the extent that I couldn’t share him with anybody and thus agree to be his girlfriend, thank god he never mean any physical intimacy for a relationship, apparently my only pleasure was kissing him over phone.
I miss those days when I never had to convince him anything, his understanding was the reason languages were fascinating to me. Things were different then, from my side, to him and from his side to everything in mine. The best part of our friendship was that we never wanted to see each other, our online relationship was way better than a real one. We had no idea how we looked like, we never cared, the best part was that we lived just few block apart. He knew who I was and I knew what he does.
I wonder if I will ever be able to trust anybody like that. Probably. No! A definite NO!
By the time she comes, her college went nice and she met her boyfriend, I can predicate that from her smile. She gave me looks that dazzled me, I felt the love for her she could never be interpretative towards it. Having a sibling was the luckiest thing for me, but probably my presence was her granted philosophy. She took me as one of the human beings who had got more love than hers and she could never see that my love for her was much bigger than her perception and not that everybody else loved her less, it was as if I was the sick kid in the house, sick most of the time and needed more attention. She, on the other hand, had sound health, her body was tall and beautiful.
I had health issues I never understood but dealt with, I had to take medicines more frequent than she took her food. Medicines made me depressed and aloof. My friend’s circle was composite but beautiful and hers was large and scattered.
I loved her no matter what, and I never left a reason not to mention that to her. Her indifference towards me was visible, she chose to stay in a hostel instead having home in the same city, and she hated me that much. I couldn’t make her believe what I believed for her, neither could I do that either. I call her which she never bothers to return. She is taking exams for her UPSC and she apparently might feel good once she gets that, which would make her wanted. I understand the difference but I actually never understand them. I hope I could, that would have made me feel better.
She is charming, and I am the nerd, we both are beautiful but she is fare and has silky hair. She keeps the room clean and I need mess to feel better sometimes, at least I want everything in my approach, nearer.
Things have changed and we are grown up, soon she will get married but I think the differences will stay always and these difference are reflected in my other relationships.
I miss me both the best friends. I miss him quite often. Years have gone and we have grown difference, I am sure he misses me more but unable to tell me that. I know this is god’s wish for us and he knows what is best for us.
I count on his birthday and wait for his call at mine. Not even a month to go.
Thing is, even if we come closer now, it would never be the same. He left me without asking me anything on his part and I miss the best friend I thought he was.
Which reminds me of an incidence just a few years ago, not that I miss her but her presence was different in my life, or I thought she had an impact on my childhood. One such day when she was off to her college and I was sitting in the terrace farm of our house watching the sky, clear and bright, the evening was just touching its pace, I was drinking milk from my favorite glass water when suddenly he called. A small brisk of a smile in my face while my mouth dunked in the glass sipping milk slowly. I like blowing air through the connected pipe and see it sound like a bubbling water.
I kept my very important work of enjoying my life’s beautiful evening aside and I attended his call.
What kind of impact do memories give us, this is just a feeling I am sharing, just a small incidence from my happy life like anybody else’s? Just some imaginative memory.
I take his call and urges to say him formal hello which never irritated me though but it never fascinated me even. We never said ‘hi/hallow’ we just greeted in some random code language [secret for now].
‘Puppy!’ the urge to hear them again in me really makes me miss him even more, the reason I never grew up was somehow was him.’ Hmmm… what are you doing?’ I reacted like a small kid would have, of course, I was drinking milk and as far as getting into character it was necessary for me to act like one.
‘Drinking milk and you?’
‘Buying a cow’ sarcasm? Funny?
We talked, talked on days, at nights, every time, talked random things and never got bored out of them, we never ran out of words or talks, I never thought I would enjoy cheesy things like those, I would whisper while sleeping at night so that nobody could hear it, I never thought I would enjoy keeping secret of having a boyfriend, I never thought I would have my best friend getting loved to the extent that I couldn’t share him with anybody and thus agree to be his girlfriend, thank god he never mean any physical intimacy for a relationship, apparently my only pleasure was kissing him over phone.
I miss those days when I never had to convince him anything, his understanding was the reason languages were fascinating to me. Things were different then, from my side, to him and from his side to everything in mine. The best part of our friendship was that we never wanted to see each other, our online relationship was way better than a real one. We had no idea how we looked like, we never cared, the best part was that we lived just few block apart. He knew who I was and I knew what he does.
I wonder if I will ever be able to trust anybody like that. Probably. No! A definite NO!
By the time she comes, her college went nice and she met her boyfriend, I can predicate that from her smile. She gave me looks that dazzled me, I felt the love for her she could never be interpretative towards it. Having a sibling was the luckiest thing for me, but probably my presence was her granted philosophy. She took me as one of the human beings who had got more love than hers and she could never see that my love for her was much bigger than her perception and not that everybody else loved her less, it was as if I was the sick kid in the house, sick most of the time and needed more attention. She, on the other hand, had sound health, her body was tall and beautiful.
I had health issues I never understood but dealt with, I had to take medicines more frequent than she took her food. Medicines made me depressed and aloof. My friend’s circle was composite but beautiful and hers was large and scattered.
I loved her no matter what, and I never left a reason not to mention that to her. Her indifference towards me was visible, she chose to stay in a hostel instead having home in the same city, and she hated me that much. I couldn’t make her believe what I believed for her, neither could I do that either. I call her which she never bothers to return. She is taking exams for her UPSC and she apparently might feel good once she gets that, which would make her wanted. I understand the difference but I actually never understand them. I hope I could, that would have made me feel better.
She is charming, and I am the nerd, we both are beautiful but she is fair and has silky hair. She keeps the room clean and I need mess to feel better sometimes, at least I want everything in my approach, nearer.
Things have changed and we are grown up, soon she will get married but I think the differences will stay always and these difference are reflected in my other relationships.
I miss me both the best friends. I miss him quite often. Years have gone and we have grown difference, I am sure he misses me more but unable to tell me that. I know this is god’s wish for us and he knows what is best for us.
I count on his birthday and wait for his call at mine. Not even a month to go.
Thing is, even if we come closer now, it would never be the same.

.

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