A letter from daughter to a Lover

I used to be different, I used to be my father’s favorite daughter and my mom’s partner in the kitchen, just a little naughty thief for my brother’s headphone and mind behind all society kid’s criminal agents, yes! Definitely, it’s not who you think you fell in love with but I were a very different person I don’t even remember myself. Coordinately I have no other ways or signs of authority to confirm you this loyalist but not that just your life has been spoiled after meeting me but mine has completely disappeared.
I have not become boring or quite, I have stopped resisting and this is a silent pain that I am not able to describe, my brain has stopped processing many things because it is afraid to be hit again. With the day it grew with you listening to how your boss mistreated you and how MS Lititz has given you extra assignments, your aggressive appointments, I have heard them all and I was used to remember them to the next month so that you never felt that I was being ignorant to you.
The patches in my skin and signs of aging are not just mine, we all grow old and it is visible most of the times, I feel tired from inside and this never happened to me when I was in the home. To the very first day we met till today there is a missing link between me and my family, not just that, they think there is a serious problem with me, and it is you.it took me hard to guess that everything that I have been surviving for was your happiness which rather I thought my family was strong to take care of themselves, but you b@@@%6d you are one of your eras, you think I am not aware of your relationships apart from this? Or think to deny that you and your ex-girlfriend being into a relationship again makes sense to me, you cannot lie everyone everywhere, god has given everybody a little sort of intuition, you cannot play around and make changes to your life, every vampire dies, you must know that.
You just can’t suck around and think you will get out alive, is what I meant.
Apparently, you taught me that it was foolish to even walk around the path where guys take up abandoned teenager girls because that was just a mixed feeling, growing curves and puffy face, with bits of pimple marks, they were my own security, not fault.
It’s not too late though, better not than ever, so you don’t have to tell me and keep me in the cage of my own insecurity, my curvy body can take care of itself, there are many like me who have come out from people like you, you just can’t get around with us, there is something bigger and better for everything.
Every lively soul has a purpose, every mind has a child in it and every heart has the ability to glow again, so I will find my path, I will learn how to live, getting around this again and again and trying to make you feel that each time you come up sin-ning but probably you didn’t, but listen, you did, you actually did, you are a very damn sinner and you will pay your way, not karma but you, yourself will punish your own actions.
All these years whenever I sat I felt completely lost, I thought it was because of my own loneliness because I had not so much of friends but my dear so love, it was because somewhere I knew it was you who made me lonely each day, each night, how couldn’t I just come out of your hell? Why?
But then today I came around, I found out that it wasn’t my fault at all, I am eligible to make friends, anybody can, you just can’t lay around with people with their esteem, it is not being COOL, it is being foolish to yourself, don’t you get that ? Don’t you get that you trying to take every girl away from their parents in certain ways and playing around does make you a Dutch Dude, it makes you a Doodle Dog?
You heard me right, you must be amazed to hear all these from me, but thankfully you did not meet me when I was 8 and my mother taught me how to handle a guy and how I should kick them between legs if in case, you get me right?
All these years I tried to figure out if I were oldies if my parents were uncool and if everything they did for me was sufficient, thankfully I understood that they are the coolest parents of the world, you could never get that, thank god you don’t.
It’s like you are playing some kind of business of rotating changes, you catch some highly talented girls, suck their beauties and feel confidence walking past, but how many Mr. MAN, there are thousands and millions or every girl is much talented than who you are and even an ant is better than …much much better than who you have become, I certainly got no other metaphor to describe.
I don’t know how to react to my this kind of sweetness, I probably have grown old, 23 almost and my innocence was screwed by somebody like you, not just once or before because guys like you are not hard to find, they just need people like us to empathetically let their shoulders for your pettiness, while you share the tales of everything between your friends you are being stupid, you have no idea.
Stop suggesting me that I should join the gym, my most of the time has gone on you, for me my mother would have asked me to eat after looking at me, I look so weak, you never notice that even if I say so.
My father was not well and all you asked me that day was if I am sending you some money, how shameful can you go? How irrationally teary I went that day. It is hard for a girl to switch their partners, it’s hard because we are bit more sensitive than most of the man probably a lot more than people like you, I am not saying that guys are not but you probably have no emotions but money.
People you think loves you, hahahahha, pardon me, are because you have played the same wolf story and sympathetic allowances, you m&%&n.
I am not particularly an old lady aunt just because I wear Indian outfit, look even if you don’t accept I am an Indian, I love everything this land provides me, I understand your obsession for the USA but why would they accept you because you deny the country which accepted you, gave you the identity and Is feeding your stomach and liver and sometimes your lungs. I don’t want to show my legs with torn jeans, it is just not what I hate but it is uncomfortable sometimes, my face is round, so? What’s a big deal, my mother thinks it is cute and many other people do but just because you didn’t I felt the same, I just can’t cut it to jaw lines, I am sorry, I am still beautiful even if you deny.
I know you are certainly in search of rich girls, no matter how ugly and disgusting you look and that none of us ever told you because we are not pretty judgmental but somewhere you need to know that.
I don’t have parties, I hate that noise and wasting time over there, I like dim light, silence, and a book, that’s my choice, you can enjoy yours, I don’t like your friends asking for my numbers, you shouldn’t as well, you a#$#%#&e.
Well today I am going back to myself, my room was empty after that, my mom is waiting and my father is already ready with a book, my brother has brought cake because I am going back, you know best part is, something in me has grown but this maturity is to bring me back my innocence, hope to never see you back into my life with the same drama, may god bless all those chords of attachment between us that destroyed the thing called Love, and this strength to keep me going after this.
Yours ‘neverMind’


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