10th October 2002, I delivered my first child. After the day when I found that someone is going to join in few months I and my husband went mad with this surprising gift from nature. Being alone in some foreign country it was hard to manage with certain hinges that someone out elder could describe us. Internet has helped me a lot with so many articles for new moms, my husband brought me quoted maternity t-shirts that spoke of our innocent excitement.
The way they make our life easier, the way they come to our life to make us understand that life is a precious gift, they way god sends them to us to keep us aligned and the way everything around us magically gets well is beyond description.
My husband took lovely care of me and our child but he being little busy with his work could not follow each event I have felt having my child inside me. The way it made me feel, all these long months, could be described in words. The invariant cosy feeling, of having such an innocent piece of god that speaks to me, understands what I feel and even reacts to my hunger, emotions and happiness.
I have felt its kick, anger and sweet stories of heaven.
Sudden mood swings and interest of eating things that I never saw definitely drew me crazy but then I understood that each moment of my phrase is never going to come back. I enjoyed each ounce of it.
Pregnancy is a physically tough job; woman who decides to have many children that too with normal delivery is god to me now.
Now I understand how it feels to be a mother.
It brought me sense of “living in seconds” when I was living in the sense of hours; earlier it took hours for me to understand what to cook and what to wear; now I have this spiritual feeling of approaching everything with a deeper sense. Magic exists, when we are would be moms.
O holy sense of vividness
The broken swings in the garden calls for you
If you have seen how it looks like
When we were kids
It looks the same but without wings
We have walked bare foot
Feeling the sand and graduals
The lonely planet demands
Some love, some attention and
Magic began at the moment when it has started to labor and my water was out; with intense feeling of having her now with me, ‘safe’, was one of those special moments of like having a trophy in my hands.
Everybody started to debate on what would be the name of our daughter, someone suggested something that has mine and my husband’s initials, and someone spoke of language that said it should suite her Facebook profile name someday, and my mother in law suggested something that suits best in school arena.
It was just a casual minute or so when they gave me my child officially, and they have already decided her future.
I wonder if life is really this amazingly painful or we are excited to make it worst?
They had a quarrel on the topic for which I was already fainted with certain physical illness after delivering my child. After a day or two when my sense were back her father already had decided her pre schooling and ordered her first school bag.
My daughter gave me a look that took my breath away, that one palm sized small kid understood that behind her understanding, her planning to ruin the life was already perpetuating.
I took her in my hands, kind of feeling that we shared all these long months and the suddenly she smiled in her dreams (must be talking to god, that’s what my mother-in-law said), she must be having a serious discussion on how people on earth has already made her centre of attraction.
I promised her to provide life that I always dreamt for myself, despite the fact and situation I knew that everything is possible for those who believe and we are not forced to run like ass and strive for success, rather we can all have same wonderful life without any special effort.
When she grew up I found that she was special, like every daughter is to her mom, she spoke kind of words we can expect from highly evolved people, and she talked of spirituality, humanity and love.
She has friends who trouble her a lot when I ask her to approach them in my way she speaks of conversations that she could follow and ends with “I do not want to spoil our friendship”.
I stand awestruck and I wonder if people like her can survive in this world?
Well I did, I never fought, at least I never argued, I would either slap or end them in hospitals, arguing is such a waste of time for me.
I feel so lucky to have all of my three in life, after her I have two sons (twins), and they do have their food only when they can see their father dance on the latest.
I could never make their father dance, at least they did, and I feel so lucky even more now.
She helped me to feel life from a perspective that we never thought exists.
We had almost forgotten to live while making life, carrier and name, living kind of life we thought is our essential purpose.
“we are not born to just live mumma, we are born to experience life too, not just for ourselves but also for all those who cannot, they are not poor they have just forgot to feel rich” she attended this phrase while I was cleaning our dining after dinner and her father was feeding her brothers, we stopped at the moment and stared her back, for a second I felt I have someone else sitting there with an iPad in hands rolling it to clear certain levels of her game.
“What? What happened?” she stared with worried eyebrows, something that we have never seen in her; she is equally possessive for our happiness too.
I wanted to go and hug her tight but she denies too much love, it does not seem cool to her.
We have tried our best to bring kind of atmosphere where our kids are happy; no matter how much we try I cannot expect my child to be an Einstein, Newton or inborn alchemist. They were inventors, they invented things accidently, they were not forced to learn, and they did it because it was so easy for them to do.
Every child is important, unique and being a parent it is my duty to appreciate her first drawing, the first kitchen mess and her first demand.
Instead shouting at their everyday demands, we should try a little to understand the reason behind them, we are not in the generation where things are solved at the corner of table discussion, and they need a practice calling, an illustrative appointment where they are excited to attend our conversation.
I have competition with my daughter Apsara on who finishes the milk first, to make it little more excited I involved my two sons who now can hold their bottles. We never get bore of this thing.
To add more we try new dishes from youtube, we try new online places and we even talk to strangers with false identity in general chat room, to make it safer I always accompany on what we are doing and we do have certain limits.
I have ran after buzzing our neighbour’s bell, we have switched off the main switches of our street’s Hitler aunty during hot summer; we even delivered her false mail and happy Christmas gifts. We feed local dogs and we have their names, we go to shopping and I try dresses she likes me to wear and eventually she does the same, we update our status with a ping, we follow our favourite singers in twitter and we discuss a lot on how the world could be made a better place.
This earth seems heaven to every parent when there is coordination among them.
Happiness is not far away, it is between us, waiting us to adopt him in everything we do and feel, happiness comes from small things and we know this very well. I do not expect my kids to be successful but to be successful in everything they do happily and I know each child has their own capability to experience life; we should just show them the path and rest, kids now days are braver and spectacularly intelligent.
Apart everything that I have felt, a connection between a mother and her kids is very different, auspicious and divine.
We get to know stuff they are thinking, it is kind of intuition that comes with packages for every mom, no matter how much grown up they are if we desire a connection it will be established.
I never got this kind of environment in my childhood; my parents thought winning a battle in academics will provide me happiness.
I died each day, wondering for the ways to live, I could never make my parents understand because they were not wrong, they were just not aware.
I got angry with the system of attaining knowledge for jobs without any practice effort and happiness, while in the process god proved his ways and I met my husband, who gave me kind of life I was expecting for.
I understood during the way how universe works for us, the more you give love to it the more it will come the way, had not I gone through all those pain, I probably never would have understood the deeper meanings of life and its existence.
My kids teach me new version of languages every day, I have to text my daughter staying next to kitchen to come and join me in lunch, this is the language they love and why should I ruin their innocent happiness.
We take recent selfish and I keep myself updated so that she is never ashamed of introducing me with her life partner someday if she chooses.
Beside everything I do I always must keep a sense of trust and never show my anxiety with her life and worries, when I allow her to play with life she amazes me with new inventions of happiness.
All I need now is their safety, happiness and wellbeing.
May every child in the universe be brought up with a sense of care, may everybody see a child as a gift of god, and may every child have happiness, food, security and parents.
I suggest we should adopt little girls and provide them a safer future, a happy environment and a better parenting; even we are planning for the same and if life is getting too much on you, take a bowl, take some Kellogg’s, add some flavor, switch on the television and watch the cartoon. we all are too young to expect stress.
God bless all
and thank you Indiblogger you are awssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee