Life of my dreams

I woke up energetic, with a new hope as i was taught during my pre primary, they told me that if i hope i will hold faith and  prayers ,i will success in my life’s biggest plans.

They told me truth about how the world works, they told me relations are our gretest assest.

I believed them.

I blessed my family and friends, i blessed my close relations,everyday i prayed for them, i saw them grow.

They were florishing and i was behind their success.

Hardly they knew the truth.

One fine day i was happy because it was my cousine’s pre wedding party.

She was throwing a surprise meet beforw she was getting married; it was surprise for me because everybody in our group including her friends and strangers were discussing about her pre wedding throw.

They were excited, so was I.

She lived a floor above, not so far to ignore me.

Night came and i was waiting that she will invite me, though i knew the theme was over, yet i was excited that she would.

She did not, she never brought conversation of it.

Next day, the pictures were being liked and shared, they were happy and the food she made were decorated over the table,
Everybody was there but I.

It surely hurt me but i did not stop praying for them because i was taught that if i do good, god will favour me with more of it.

I believed them.

I woke up one fine day again, it was my uncle’s promotion.

They were happy and so was i.

He brought chocolates,  a big pack of cadbury celebrations, it had 7 chocolates;

My little sister was very young then, she went in the hope that the choclate will be shared, they ate them in front of her, she came back without any.

He concluded, the rest two were my uncle’s children who lived 40 km away from us.

It hurt me, but i never stopped praying.

They said we must keep loving people because one fine day they will understand how it feels to be loved by you.

I believed them.

One another day i was in need my my elder sister, she did a lot for me no doubt but somewhere it was because she was being formal of my presence; she was afraid that if she do not care for me; she might loose her values in my insight.

I felt so, i am unaware of her real feelings, because i loved her with all my heart, i loved them unconditionally and i thought they loved me too.

I needed her and she laughed at me.

It hurt me, today i felt it little more deeply.

I felt cheated, of all those phrases taught to me, they lied.

Nothing in the world could make someone like you unless they wants to.

After all these experiences, i gave up on them but i never stopped praying for them.

The only thing i changed with myself was my perspective, i do noy believe them anomore, i have no true feelings for them anymore, i have lernt that unless i pray for myself no body will ever love me.



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