You are beautiful, certainly far better than what you achieve. Your soul ambition must be to love yourself. The greater part of your life and smaller segments of scales. You are just as I have imagined all my life. Proud me with your pout and I won’t doubt you, giggle in front of me with silly jokes. Why dam not you let me to understand you, your girly talks and smirking eyes. You being audacious to me sometimes gives me zeal to control you but you are far from being dominated or ruled, you are off course my colourful soul, while this whole world notifies you to be different I believe that you are conditionally unavailable to many. You are the tremendous happiness in the world of hope, this one generous eulogy will never end, unless that’s you who desire us to be together.

Ps there’s a lot which might not sound better on words but my world flies around you, you being the party of my home where I find the peace and rest. I love you



I don’t think so, I don’t think so that the world is going in a wrong direction. In fact from where I am looking at it, it’s the top most view of the highest possibility on the earth. I can securely tell you that this world is going in a correct direction. I believe this world have never experienced this bliss before. From the southern part of the world where most of the nonviolent creatures have been kept to the north most magnetic asylums, the world is going in a right direction.

If we could literally create meanings to our lives we would have made better decisions but whatever we have made so far are the best. To create natural awareness we do not want to set forth our existence but to find our real places in the survival list. It is quite weird to understand this concept from a slogan but I think we can do better. We can be anywhere anytime given any proficiency and command over our existence. To this similar day if we can understand that our lives are connected, we will stop looking each other and concentrate on our own business.

Around the world to the similar corners I believe we all have similar conspiracies and we can decide which legitimation would follow us after we leave this plane. We came here without plans and as our awareness is adapted to this setting and arrangement we believe it is our natural habitat, we observe and create greater mistakes and seek them as our possibilities but we as a human are more than that, we as a soul are enough.

Distance beyond

Probably that’s the insight now how we put into our lives; we don’t want to understand many of the matters given so many predetermined consequences of living. Probably you are not aware of many signs of hurt or desperation. It’s a sudden jolt of life where the water is beyond the lining of prototype.

It’s bad to get hurt, these un-original feelings of staying on a cage of raft and not understanding why all of a sudden thing fell down. Deep down I know how it feels to be hurt, get betrayed or over insulted. There is a thin layer of submissive abuses we all receive when compared with degrees of existence. I don’t want to stay here for long but as much as I do I believe we all deserve a kind of happiness which doesn’t require much of the explanation.

That’s right; my soul has been thrashed like you might have felt some day, why this pain was so important to grow, because someday something might need our strength to work on. That’s very obvious to deal bullies but no one ever told me how to deal with sudden loneliness. This kind of loneliness appears to me at crowd, may be because I am reluctant to accept people. That’s the way beyond my journey. I have grown up in a very protective environment, I was always asked first to unwarp the gift, cut the cake, no matter whose birthday that was. It is just the moment of time when I had stepped out, stayed with new people called roomies and was forced to share a bathroom because living alone in a room with speaking walls couldn’t be a good idea. Not that I am a coward, I just love company but to some extent.

I grew and tremendous power was needed to choose between the thoughts of others and that of mine, I was just making no significant nurturing to love, that’s a foreign thing. Things are quite weird at my side because that’s what I define everything in my life ‘weird’, I am  weird, my neighbors are weird, the people in the world are weird my siblings are weird, everyone is weird and I hate them like I love them at once.

This teen blood is really on my head. The sudden need of money when I would see my favorite book will remind me of the guilt of leaving promising job, sudden need of money when I would need a new top in the sale would remind me the same, darting back to my emotions I would look into the mirror and tell myself what I secretly make in my promising align.

Sometimes that’s difficult too but I still know the degree of hatred, hurt and physical abuse. There is greater pain too that’s called the supreme injustice. I get to see him fly abroad while soaking his emotions on me, I feel fooled and used. That’s where I distrust humanity and emotions more than anything.

We don’t have to be tortured to gain the freedom that’s a myth, a trap but eventually I am into it. He get to enjoy his new girlfriend and I get piles of thoughts about ‘ WHY’ well this will end and like every other such story I am expecting a sudden breakthrough in my life and looking his jealous heart would give me peace beyond infinity.

Wow! I am just getting too emotional with myself.

Pain is a terrible thing, he has taught me that, love is a mess and he has taught me that too . Yet and but there are days when he sends me random pictures of the street, playing kids, barber shop, balloons and street lamp. It’s how he defines every way I have existed in this world without being physically available at the places. To make thins better he has taught me to let go what I could not control. That’s the beauty of his existence.

Things about him, I will tell you, it’s difficult to define someone I have met years ago. It wouldn’t be quite obvious to make him the real hero of my life but certainly we have our own virtual existence. Good thing is that we met and when I got to know him this world was a better place. I could breathe, smell and smile at the same time, there wasn’t any suffocation, there wasn’t any suffocation

He was brave and I have seen that in his eyes, never in the history of our existence someone that stronger was born . We have shared a common bed but my sleep was always completed when he had woke up. Our marginal existence was beyond the theory of economics and we don’t write theories.


We are less of what we are and more of what we are, we don’t exist but our existence is valid . We don’t have to prove ourselves and we don’t have to define our values, we can seek the salvation become Jesus and find the oneness because while it’s in us we all in him at the same. The magic of being into the original existence was temporary and if we could validate the real world it would be in a vein because we created it. It’s too hard to define something that doesn’t exist but we exist right we do.

Throughout the night I had wondered if you could see me through the windows or the same source of perception because love is a busy thing and we won’t be able to loose each other. I have found this void inside of me filling after you have touched me in a inseparable way. I know that this pain travels and touches you too but I have not got any other idea behind it, I am just supposing that it will be another mistake to not consider you into my life and let you go. I don’t know from where this is coming but I am certainly sure that we two have something in common and that’s ‘great pain’, pain reveals most of us and when found in lonely sun under the roof of no human interaction it disgusts us with most alluring beauty of nature. It’s only when we find that artificial intelligence is mere a thought and it only exists because we believe some thing else guide us but no it’s just our instinct that guide us in all possible way and no one can take us apart.


We are so busy evaluating that we forget what we really deserve, if you have got the courage kick the ball and mean while don’t try to mismatch yourself with your spectacles because beyond it lies those eyes which deserves much attention. More than what we try to give others.

Not a while ago when the elevator door opened I had wished him, again, it’s years since we were separated but I wait for something he took with himself, a part of me. Not necessarily that I am true at this but I could hold on it for sometimes and move on but he keeps something very important that had belonged to me. He denies accepting that but the pain of getting separated from my own part sometimes takes me to dizziness and nausea. These nostalgic arena of finding hallucination backdoor of my existence I had Portree a lot of emotions.

I found it interesting that no other guy could make me feel the way about me like he did may be because that part of me with him thinks about me in the same way. I am secrets away from finding myself to gulp the honesty behind my existence and this first book ends with lots of drama to be forgotten but forgiven.

A brain

That’s morinously irrational

A nose

That stinks bad

A half heart

already donated by someone

And the rest is just me!

Weird, uneasy, dishonest and amazingly racist. The dowry that was taken to design me was beyond the tandular availability. I am just a replaced case of myself. I walk where things are half broken and I recollect pieces of me hunting on planes never visited.